Last night was Trick or Treat at Shepherd University for the Shepherdstown children. Us college students got a chance to dress up and hand out candy to the children that visited our dorms with their parents, and we saw all kinds of great costumes, including an entire family dressed as Doctor Who characters (Parenting- you're doing it right!) and even a real-life Slender Man. Any children visiting our dorm would have met a tech-smart witch, a maid with a sugar high, a spectacularly creepy murderer from The Purge, and a Greek Goddess carrying around a Canon Rebel. Down the hall, Jesus handed out candy, Bane, who resided on the third floor, patiently asked all of the children, "Have you seen The Batman?" and Darth Vader kept making mandatory candy runs because we were all running short on supplies. I'm not sure that I've ever had this much fun in my five years of taking part in Shep-Or-Treat.
After the party ended, a group of us piled into the common room of our suite, studying, reading, and watching South Park, a show I've frowned upon until, as a college student, I was finally exposed to it and understood it. (Edgar Allan Poe was in one of the episodes, and I nearly died on the couch from laughing so hard- #Englishmajorproblems.) And then, as we were all in the Halloween spirit, we began discussing things that scare us- horror films, ghosts, and apparently frightening online games. That last topic ended up becoming the entertainment of the night as those of us on the couch watched my roommate play a series of games, including Slender Man and Amnesia: Justine. At one point, I nearly leapt off the couch to escape a monster that we KNEW was just on the other side of the door. I'm not a gamer, nor do I have any advanced computer skills, but I greatly enjoyed myself last night.
Wednesday also marked my final meeting with my academic advisor. Another sign of graduation looming ever closer. I laughed when my advisor said to me, "I expect this meeting to be exceptionally short." We discussed everything that needed to be discussed as well as some things that had recently come to my mind about where I wish to go from my graduation in December.
My list of things that I'm certain of is becoming longer:
I'm definitely returning home in December and seeking out my summer position, if the business will have me; I'm know I'm not running to or away from any circumstances from the past; I am no longer depending on any person to supply me with happiness- that's a job only for myself; I'm also certain that I will take these last few weeks of school to bust my butt in the BEST academic performance of my life- my English/Honors Capstone- as well as ENJOY the time with the people I like to be around; Finally, I'm letting go of the hell I've been through at this place and the people that were a part of that. I'm going to freaking enjoy these last weeks, damnit.
This new sense of independence appeared ironically after nearly having a meltdown last week that was cured by a walk, a liberating conversation, and a weekend curled up with an adorable kitten that was I caring for in Hagerstown while one of my friends got married.
Who wouldn't be happy after a weekend with this sweetheart, right? And to top it all off, I got to spend a night hanging out with a close friend and past roommate as well this week. Overall, after setting a few things (like friendships) straight last week, I feel like I can laugh and breathe again. I had to push through quite a few hard things this semester- a break-up, no longer volunteering with horses, not obtaining a job in the lovely town of Shepherdstown- but I finally feel like I've moved past those things. I've started making lists of things that I plan to accomplish in the "spring semester" while I'm at home (Do you ever stop referring to time in terms of semesters after you're no longer in school?????), and I'm beginning to get excited about them. I'll be near my horse, living with my cat, and stationed at a job that I won't want to break glass over, and --at least initially-- I'll have the financial advantage with only having a few costs. And then there's this special door that has appeared in my future, one that I'm not going to explain fully quite yet. More research is needed, and I'm planning on completing that as soon as possible.
At a time where we get to dress up and be anything we want to be, I'm looking into what I really want to be during all those other days of the year-- looking at all the options. I'm still not positive I have the answer yet, but I definitely feel that I'm getting closer to it, and I finally feel like the decisions I make now will be mine and not the consequence of some past event that I was terrified would influence my decisions.
In retrospect, though, it might still be slightly worrisome that I wanted to dress up as Belle from Once Upon A Time for Halloween, a princess that spends her time with other fairytale characters and lives for love. I guess being a romantic is still part of me, though now I know that that aspect will not be as crippling as it has been in the past, and let's face it, Belle's still pretty badass. :)
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